


Little Blonde Terror

by vivvav



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: F/M, Natsumi Sakamoto, Shizuka Sakamoto, The AFR Universe, Yoshio Sakamoto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 19:36:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14527701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivvav/pseuds/vivvav
Summary: Ryuji's daughter has some issues with aggression.





	Little Blonde Terror

Biology was never Ryuji’s best subject in school. Well, frankly, he wasn’t good at any subjects in school, but that wasn’t the point. The point was, he couldn’t really give a detailed explanation as to why his daughter had naturally blonde hair. Apparently it had something to do with recessive genes, and according to Ryuji’s mom some Sakamoto hundreds of years ago may have had a kid with a Dutch missionary, and Hifumi’s dad said that maybe something similar happened on their side of the family too. And through all the years, against all probability, those recessive genes kept swimming in the family gene pools and came together, and thus, Ryuji’s second child was born with hair that was naturally the same color that he dyed his own.

Whatever the reason, Ryuji and Hifumi’s friends and family all found it appropriate. Because there was no denying that Natsumi Sakamoto was DEFINITELY Ryuji’s daughter.

* * *

“I’m home!”

“Hey Dad.” Yoshio kept his eyes on his video game as Ryuji stepped through the front door.

“Welcome home!” Hifumi was in the middle of eating an orange, but paused to walk over and give her husband a very citrusy kiss. “How was work today?”

“Pretty dull.” Ryuji said. “Ren had a meetin’ with some Diet member from Yokohama, but nobody tried to break in or nothin’. So me and that guy’s security detail just wound up talkin’ shop while the eggheads discussed policy.”

“Well, any uneventful day’s a good day, isn’t it? It’s better if you aren’t attacked, after all.”

“You ain’t wrong.” Ryuji looked around the room. “Speakin’ of which, where’s Natsu-“

“CHAAARRRRRGE!”

Ryuji was hit in the face by a large stuffed owl. He looked towards the source of the toy bird’s flight to see his three-year-old daughter barreling down the stairs.

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

The little girl started pounding her fists against Ryuji’s shin, screaming furiously all the while. Ryuji shook his head and walked over to the couch, sitting down and ignoring her strikes. Natsumi climbed onto the couch and started smacking her father’s arm over and over. After about 20 seconds of this, Ryuji casually leaned forward and pushed Natsumi behind him, leaning back afterwards, pinning the excitable toddler between his back and the back of the couch. Ryuji was by no means crushing Natsumi, but his own weight was enough to immobilize her and stop the constant hitting.

“LEMME GO!” Natsumi yelled.

“Not ’til you calm down” Ryuji said.

“LEMME GO!” Natsumi tried to wriggle out from under Ryuji, but couldn’t escape from him.

“Are you calm yet?”

“NYAAAAAAH!”

“You don’t sound very calm.” Ryuji grinned and let out an exaggerated yawn. “Y’know, after a long day at work, I’m pretty tired. I might just take a nap right here and not move for a few hours.”

“NO!” Natsumi started thrashing around harder.

“Yup, gettin’ reeeeeally sleepy.” Ryuji let out another yawn. “Think I’m just gonna nod off now. Maybe a good nap’ll calm us both down.”

“NOOOOOO!”

Ryuji started making snoring sounds.

“OK!” Natsumi’s thrashing died down. “I’m calm now!”

“You sure about that?” Ryuji asked.

“Yeah!

“Well that means no more attacks for the rest of the day, alright?”

“Alright, alright! Just lemme go!”

Ryuji leaned forward, finally giving Natsumi room to escape. The second she was free, he grabbed her again and raspberried her cheek, making her giggle. Anybody who entered the room from this point would have no clue what just happened a moment ago, thinking of the couple as a completely normal father and daughter.

“So,” Ryuji asked, “what’d you do today?”

“Me an’ Granma went to the park!” Natsumi said. “Some ‘spicous birds were gettin’ real close to her so I scared ‘em away, an’ then she got me ice cream for savin’ her!”

“Ice cream, huh?” Ryuji smirked at Hifumi. “That explains a thing or two. We gotta talk to Mom about that.”

“I’ve tried” Hifumi said. “She doesn’t listen.”

* * *

Ryuji’s sleep was disturbed by a slight pressure on his chest.

“Babe…” Ryuji felt around until his hand fell on Hifumi’s shoulder, shaking her lightly. “You’re squeezin’ me too hard.”

“Huh?” Hifumi stirred, not opening her eyes.

“I appreciate the love, but you’re holdin’ me too tight. I’m havin’ trouble breathin’.”

“What are you talking about?” Hifumi mumbled. “I’m not touching you.”

“What?” Ryuji opened his eyes and turned his head, looking towards Hifumi. Indeed, his wife’s arm was by her side, and not draped over Ryuji. He looked forward and craned his neck up to look for the source of the weight on his chest, only to make out a tiny figure sitting on his body.

“GET HIM, FU-CHAN!”

Ryuji was repeatedly hit in the face with a stuffed owl, its owner growling and yelling incoherently during the assault. Ryuji, although groggy and under attack by a stuffed bird, was just lucid enough to realize that shooting upwards suddenly like was his instinct might just send the very fragile child interrupting his sleep flying across the room, and so he just lay there, unsure how to proceed in his current position.

Hifumi, thankfully, was not pinned down, and was much quicker to come to a solution, rising quickly and grabbing Natsumi, lifting her from her father’s chest.

“NO!” Natsumi yelled as she was hauled into the air. “WE ALMOST GOT HIM!”

“Natsumi, no!” Hifumi was wide awake now. “No attacking Daddy in his sleep! That’s a very bad thing to do!”

“But it’s the perfect time for a sneak attack!”

“You promised no more sneak attacks today!”

“That was when it was still daytime!” Natsumi was still swinging her owl around, although Ryuji was now out of the improvised weapon’s range. “It’s nighttime now!”

“Natsumi, STOP.” Hifumi grabbed the stuffed owl with her free hand. “This battle’s over!”

“But me an’ Fu-Chan-“

“No buts!” Hifumi got out of bed. “We’re going to march back to your room, and I’m going to tuck you and Fu-Chan into bed, and you’re going to go to sleep! And you’re not going to play this war game at nighttime anymore, because Daddy and I need our sleep, and you’re not supposed to wake us up unless something’s wrong! That’s a rule!”

Ryuji could make out a few wordless whines as the ladies left the room, but Natsumi seemed to have given up trying to argue with her mom. Ryuji sat up and waited for Hifumi to come back. It didn’t take very long.

“You get Natsumi back to bed?” Ryuji asked.

“I pulled out an extra blanket and tucked her in nice and tight” Hifumi said. “She’ll be able to escape if she moves around enough, but she’ll have completely tuckered herself out by the time she does, so I think you should be safe for the rest of the night.”

“Smart thinkin’.” Ryuji put his arm around Hifumi as she got back into bed. “Who woulda thought some day you’d be the one savin’ me from vicious attackers? Maybe you oughta go into my line of work.”

“Somehow I doubt there’s much work for a bodyguard who specializes in protecting their clients from three-year-olds.”

“You’d be surprised.” Ryuji yawned as he laid his head back down on his pillow. “We live in strange times.”

* * *

“Aw man, that must’ve been so weird!”

Ryuji’s laughter filled the air in Cafe Noir as Yusuke regaled him with the tale of how he fell into a penguin enclosure at the zoo. The artist, for his part, didn’t see what was so amusing about the whole affair, but it was rare that his most boorish friend took such an active interest in his stories, so he kept telling the tale.

“Not at all” Yusuke said. “It gave me the chance to observe the creatures up close and personal. They didn’t seem to mind my presence at all.”

“Well yeah.” Ryuji poked Yusuke’s stomach. “With that gut you’ve gotten lately, they prolly just thought you were a really tall penguin, waddlin’ around and stuff.”

“I beg your pardon!?” Yusuke’s voice became incensed. “I do NOT waddle!”

“Hey man, you ain’t the beanpole you used to be.” Ryuji sipped his tea. “It’s good that you’re finally gettin’ enough to eat, but now you’re eatin’ too much.”

“How dare you!”

“Look, someone’s gotta say it, ok!?” Ryuji pointed to the large stack of biscotti Yusuke was having with his coffee. “You still eat like a starvin’ artist who doesn’t know when his next meal’s gonna be. You gotta learn some self-control!”

As the two got into it, big brown eyes watched them with all the focus of an animal about to descend upon its prey. Which more or less described the situation perfectly. Ryuji had gotten so distracted by his conversation with Yusuke that he didn’t even notice that Natsumi had snuck away from him, and was now hiding under a nearby table, waiting for her father to be at peak vulnerability so she could launch another sneak attack. She was so sure of it. This time, she could bring him down. He was arguing with Yusuke now. Just a few more seconds, and it’d be the perfect time to strike.

However, Natsumi’s focus on Ryuji was so great that she wasn’t paying attention to the rest of the environment. If she were, maybe she would have noticed that she herself was being watched by Haru. The bubbly cafe owner was as doting as any aunt could be, full of nothing but love for all of her friends’ children. But this also came with an acute awareness of just how disruptive the little darlings could be, and Natsumi was by far the loudest and most rambunctious. And so, when Natsumi emerged from under the table to attack her father, Haru was on her in an instant, scooping her up off the ground and pulling her into a big hug.

“There you are, Natsumi-Chan!” Haru squeezed the little girl as hard as she could without hurting her, nuzzling her at the same time. “Do you want to play with your Auntie Haru? I have coloring books!”

“Aunt Haru, no! I… I…” Natsumi stopped struggling very quickly. Between the warmth of Haru’s body, the material of the soft sweater wrapped around the arms that had Natsumi trapped, and the fluffy hair gently rubbing against her face, Haru’s hug felt very much like being in a nice, cozy bed. There was something almost hypnotic about the experience, and it took all of Natsumi’s willpower just to stay awake, the fight leaving her instantly.

“What was that, Natsumi-Chan?” Haru giggled. “I couldn’t hear you over how cute you are!”

“‘Kay” Natsumi said tiredly. “Colorin’ sounds fun.”

* * *

Yoshio was leaning back on his bed, reading manga when he heard some mumbling by the open door. He looked up and saw Natsumi pacing back and forth through the hall, hugging her stuffed owl close to her chest. She seemed to be deep in thought, but he couldn’t make out what she was saying.

“Hey Natsumi” Yoshio said. “What’re you doin’?”

“Me an’ Fu-Chan are makin’ plans.” Natsumi walked into Yoshio’s room, taking his question as an invitation to come in.

“Yeah?” Yoshio sat up. “What kinda plans?”

“Plans to beat Daddy.” Natsumi climbed up onto Yoshio’s bed, her attitude perking up. “We’re gonna get him for sure next time!”

“No you’re not.” Yoshio snickered. “Every time you try to fight Dad him or Mom or some other adult stops you.”

“Well that’s why we’re makin’ a plan!” Natsumi’s brow furrowed. “Me an’ Fu-Chan are gonna come up with the super-duper awesome plan to kick his butt!”

“Why are you always trying to beat up Dad anyway?”

“‘Cuz I’m gonna be the world’s strongest!” Natsumi stood up on the bed. “That way I can protect you an’ Mommy an’ Granma like Daddy does! But right now he’s the world’s strongest, so I gotta beat him, then I’ll be the strongest and I can protect him too!”

“So you’re attackin’ him so you can protect him?” Yoshio raised an eyebrow. “That’s dumb.”

“Nuh-uh!” Natsumi started jumping up and down. “‘Cuz once I’m the strongest an’ can protect everyone, Daddy won’t have to anymore, so he can quit his job an’ play with us more!”

“What about Uncle Ren?” Yoshio asked. “Dad’s job is protectin’ him. Who’s gonna do that if Dad stops workin’?”

“Uncle Ren’s married to Aunt Makoto, an’ she’s a police lady! He’ll be fine!”

“If you say so…” Yoshio smirked. “But you know, you’re never gonna beat Dad if you just keep goin’ at him like that. You gotta train first.”

“Huh?” Natsumi stopped jumping, falling onto her rear. “How’s ridin’ a train gonna help me win?”

“No, it’s how you get stronger.”

“Ridin’ the train makes people stronger?”

“Stop talkin’ about trains. Look.” Yoshio scooted closer to Natsumi. “You know how Dad’s really big and you’re really little?”

“Uh-huh…”

“Well, that makes it a lot harder to beat Dad, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Exactly. You can’t just keep goin’ after him all the time, he’s too strong for you. You gotta start by beatin’ people closer to your level.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Look here.” Yoshio turned the manga to Natsumi. He flipped the pages to the front of the volume, showing the hero losing to the villain. “Y’know how in stories, the good guy usually can’t win against the bad guy at first, because he’s too strong? So then…” Yoshio flipped the pages forward to show the hero fighting a smaller enemy, punching him in the face. “The good guy’s gotta fight all his minions, who aren’t as strong as the bad guy, but still pretty tough. And by beatin’ ‘em, the good guy gets stronger and stronger until…” Yoshio flipped forward to the end of the volume, showing the hero standing victoriously over the villain. “He finally beats the bad guy he couldn’t before!”

“But Daddy’s not a bad guy!” Natsumi yelled.

“That’s not the point.” Yoshio closed the book. “The point is, you gotta get practice beatin’ people closer to your own size. Then you can beat bigger people, and even bigger people than that, ’til you can finally fight Dad. That’s the only way you’re gonna beat him. Got it?”

“Got it!” Natsumi started hitting Yoshio with her owl.

“What are you doing!?” Yoshio raised his arms to defend himself. The owl didn’t hurt, but he didn’t want to take the chance that the beak or another firm part of the doll would poke him in the eye.

“You’re littler’n Daddy, so I’m gonna beat you so I can beat him!”

“I didn’t mean me, you doofus!” Yoshio grabbed the owl and held it above his head.

“Hey!” Natsumi started reaching for the owl. “Give Fu-Chan back!”

“Listen to me.” Yoshio kept the owl out of Natsumi’s reach. “I’m too big for you too. You gotta start smaller, with enemies your own size.”

“My own size?” Natsumi started scratching her head, pondering this information. “But the only other people my size are the kids in preschool, an’ teacher says we’re not allowed to hit each other.”

“Well then…” Yoshio gave Natsumi back her owl and leaned back, opening his manga. “If you can’t train against nobody, I guess you’re just gonna have to give up on beating Dad ’til you grow up.”

“But that’s like, a million years away!”

“Well I guess you’re just gonna haveta wait.” Yoshio pointed to the door. “Now lemme read my manga in peace.”

* * *

Hifumi scanned the shogi board with her eyes. Over the years and many, many games, Makoto’s skills had improved considerably, certainly to the level of some professionals Hifumi had played against. The assistant police commissioner hadn’t backed Hifumi into a corner yet, but if Hifumi didn’t choose her next few moves carefully it just might happen. It wouldn’t be the first time Makoto or Ren had beaten her. Not that it happened often, of course, but that was still no reason for Hifumi to not give the game her all.

Hifumi’s concentration was interrupted by a high pitched scream. She and Makoto shared a look and ran out of the room, knocking over the shogi board in the process.

The two mothers ran into Ryoko and Hanami’s room. The scene they found was somehow both better and worse than they imagined.

“AAAAAHHHH!"

“GET OFF OF HER!”

“DIE, HAIR MONSTER!”

Nobody was bleeding and nothing was broken, but it wasn’t a pretty sight. Hanami was lying on the ground, Natsumi thrashing around on top of her, arms and legs tangled up in her long, bushy hair. Ryoko was trying to pull Natsumi off of her younger sister, but the blonde was firmly stuck in Hanami’s mane, and each pull just made Hanami scream louder.

“WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE!?” Makoto yelled.

“Natsumi-Chan’s gone crazy!” Ryoko shouted back. “She just pushed down Hanami and started trying to beat her up out of nowhere!”

“GET HER OFF OF ME!” Hanami screamed.

“Natsumi, stop!” Hifumi crouched down and grabbed Natsumi, holding her still. She tried to remove her, pulling away gently so Hanami wouldn’t get hurt anymore, but somehow she had gotten pretty firmly stuck in Hanami’s tresses.

“But Mommy,” Natsumi whined, “I’m about to win!”

“NO!” Hifumi tightened her grip on Natsumi’s shoulders. “We don’t hit our friends! What were you thinking!?”

“Oh dear…” Makoto was attending to Hanami, helping her into a sitting position. “Are you alright, Hanami?”

“My head hurts.” Hanami rubbed her scalp, eyes watering.

“I was just trainin’!” Natsumi said.

“Training for what!?”

“To beat Daddy!”

“This again!?” Hifumi pinched her brow. “How is attacking Hanami-Chan supposed to help with that!?”

“Yoshio said I hadta fight people my own size t’get stronger!”

“HE SAID WHAT!?”

* * *

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?” Hifumi screamed.

“I was just tryin’ to get her to stop buggin’ Dad all the time!” Yoshio said.

“So you told her to attack other kids!?” Ryuji glared at his son. “What’s wrong with you, dude!?”

“That’s not what I said!” Yoshio shook his head fervently. “I said she should train against people her own size, and she said the kids in her class were the only people she could think of and she wasn’t allowed to hit them, so I thought she’d stop! I didn’t think she’d attack Uncle Ren’s kids!”

“I see…” Hifumi took a deep breath, calming down. “So you were just trying to help.”

“Yeah! I was tryin’ to use strategy like you, Mom!” Yoshio rubbed the back of his head. “But I guess I’m kinda bad at it.”

“That checks out.” Ryuji turned to Natsumi. “And as for you…”

“Yes, Daddy?” Natsumi gave Ryuji the biggest, saddest eyes she could. He wasn’t buying it.

“This has gone too far.” Ryuji grunted. “We gotta come up with some kinda punishment for you.”

“What!?” Natsumi threw her hands into the air. “But I already said ‘sorry’ to Hanami!”

“Sometimes ‘sorry’ isn’t good enough” Hifumi said. “You know how much Hanami-Chan loves her hair. Aunt Makoto had to cut a lot of it off to get you out of there, and now she’s going to be very sad until it all grows back.”

“I think the punishment oughta fit the crime” Ryuji said. “No more ice cream until Hanami’s hair grows back.”

“THAT’S NO FAIR!”

“Now listen here!” Ryuji shouted. “What you did is-“

“Um…” Hifumi tapped Ryuji on the shoulder and whispered in his ear. “I don’t mean to undermine you, and I understand what you’re going for, but it could take months for all of Hanami’s hair to grow back. That might be a little extreme.”

“Yeah, ok.” Ryuji sighed. “You don’t have to wait that long, but no ice cream for two weeks.”

“Two weeks!?” Natsumi pulled down on the sides of her face. “But that’s like a bajillion years!”

“You gotta understand, Natsumi…” Ryuji knelt down and put his hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I don’t mind when you do your sneak attacks on me, because it doesn’t hurt and I’m your dad and I love you. But you can’t just go around hittin’ whoever you feel like, especially when they’re your friends. Hanami’s really nice, and she’ll probably forgive you in a few days, but if you do this stuff to someone else they could get really pissed off and not wanna be your friend anymore. And gettin’ stronger ain’t worth losin’ friends, right?”

“Right.” Natsumi sulked. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“I know.” Ryuji tussled Natsumi’s hair. “Now Grandma’s almost done makin’ dinner, so go wash your hands.” Ryuji looked at Yoshio. “Yoshio, help your sister out, ‘kay?”

“‘Kay.” Yoshio grabbed Natsumi’s hand and led her out of the room. “C’mon Natsumi, let’s make sure there aren’t any long hairs or nothin’ stuck under your fingernails.”

“Ewwwww!”

Natsumi could be heard laughing as she as Yoshio vanished into the bathroom. Ryuji and Hifumi collapsed onto the couch once the children were gone.

“I don’t believe this” Hifumi said. “What are we going to do with your daughter?”

“MY daughter?” Ryuji looked at Hifumi incredulously. “It takes two people to make a kid, y’know!”

“Yes, but she gets that wild energy from you.”

“‘Scuse me!?” Ryuji balked. “Who do you think she gets that competitive streak from!?”

“You’re the one who comes home and tells the children stories about how you beat up bad guys trying to hurt their uncle!”

“Yeah, like once every few months when it actually happens!” Ryuji crossed his arms. “You’re the one who tells your shogi matches like fairy tales as bedtime stories! No wonder she’s obsessed with winnin’ and bein’ the best and stuff!”

“So this is my fault now!?”

“Well it ain’t mine!”

“It’s not mine either!”

“Then whose is it!?”

The married couple glared at each other for a moment until Ryuji’s expression suddenly lightened up.

“We could blame Mom” Ryuji said.

“Your mother?” Hifumi thought on this for a second. “She DOES tend to reward Natsumi for ‘protecting’ her from non-threats.”

“Yeah! We’re great parents!” Ryuji got a smug smile. “It’s Mom who’s always spoilin’ our kids! Any problems they got are her fault!”

“I can hear you, you know!”

Shizuka Sakamoto poked her head out of the dining room, very displeased with the talk going on behind her back.

“Since I’m such a horrible influence, should I take it that you two don’t want the dinner I cooked?”

“We’re sorry, Mom!”

“We were only kidding, Shizuka!”

“That’s what I thought.” A grin appeared on Shizuka’s face. “Now come eat, you rotten parents.”

                                                   

[Art by Hureno](http://hurenodoodles.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Damn, two child fics posted in less than 24 hours! Once I had the idea for Natsumi, Hureno and I got to brainstorming and it came together pretty quickly.
> 
> For y'all keeping track of the timeline, this takes place a year before "Jean Takamaki".


End file.
